


Sleigh Ride in Sanditon

by jenloves2garden



Category: Sanditon - Fandom
Genre: Children, Christmas, F/M, Falling In Love, HEA, Holiday, Love, Love Story, Regency, minimal angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-26
Updated: 2021-01-04
Packaged: 2021-03-11 04:20:55
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 8
Words: 13,633
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28345299
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jenloves2garden/pseuds/jenloves2garden
Summary: This story takes place on Christmas in 1828, eight years after the events on the show, and includes flashbacks to the time that followed Charlotte Heywood leaving Sanditon.
Relationships: Charlotte Heywood/Sidney Parker, Georgiana Lambe/Otis Molyneux, Tom Parker/Mary Parker
Comments: 149
Kudos: 164





	1. Chapter 1

Charlotte snuggled farther into her favorite wingback chair, and turned the page of her newest philosophy book, warmed by the flames glowing from the fireplace and enjoying the scent of greenery decorating the mantel and doorway they had hung yesterday on Christmas Eve. She loved the smell of a new book and the feel of its cover in her hands, and enjoyed the time she was able to read alone. Outside the parlor window, she heard giggles and knew that her respite had come to an end. Closing the book, she waited, laughing as she heard the front door burst open into the foyer, followed by the patter of small feet.

“Mama, Mama, come look what Papa got for us,” Caroline, Alison, and William trilled with excitement, running into the parlor.

Charlotte smiled at the delight of her children. The girls’ pelisses and bonnets and William’s coat and hat were dusted with snow, and the girls’ hems were wet.

Her youngest, three-year old Alison, tugged at her hand. “It’s outside, Mama. Please come. Papa had it hidden in the stables. He took us there, and…oh, come look.”

Charlotte kissed each of their heads, their soft, dark curls bouncing under their hats as they jumped with eagerness.

“It sounds like you have something exceptionally exciting to show me. Let me just get my pelisse and gloves on and you can all take me there.” Of course, she already knew what he had brought them, but he hadn’t shown it to her yet.

They all grabbed her hands and swept her out of the chair away from the warmth of the fire and out of the room into the large foyer, where Neville, their butler, already waited with her dark blue winter pelisse and her bonnet. She picked up her gloves from the console table near the door.

Charlotte smiled at Neville as he helped her into the pelisse. “I imagine you’ve already seen this surprise.” She tied on her bonnet and donned her gloves.

“Yes, Mrs. Parker,” he answered, a warm gleam in his eyes behind his spectacles. “From the window.”

“Come on, Mama, hurry, hurry,” five-year-old William commanded.

Her eldest, Caroline, a mature seven, held back a little now, looking with disapproval at her younger siblings who kept tugging at their Mama. She said in a more tempered voice, “It’s so beautiful, Mama. You will really like it.”

Charlotte finished buttoning her pelisse and Neville opened the door to the chilly day, the sky a uniform winter gray. Her husband, Sidney, stood outside on the snowy path outside their large hilltop house, grinning. Snow dusted his top hat and overcoat. Their children rattled down the stairs, down the stone path, and grabbed onto his black overcoat and hugged him.

He hugged them back and kissed their heads. “What did I say?” he asked with a chuckle, looking an enquiry at her. “It has snowed enough for this contraption I had made for us.”

“You were right, dear,” said Charlotte. “And they are extremely happy.” She walked down the stairs and the path between the snow-covered ornamental trees, took his proffered arm, and gazed at the red sleigh as the children climbed into the back seat and placed red wool blankets on their laps for warmth. Not many sleighs were needed in these parts, but Sidney had insisted, in the hope that the recent very cold weather would bring snow to the coastal town of Sanditon. Their chestnut horses, Sunset and Sunrise—named by the children—stood stomping in the cold, also covered by thick red wool blankets to match the sleigh.

Charlotte looked up at Sidney. “It’s beautiful.”

“A beautiful sleigh for our beautiful family,” he said, nuzzling her head. She leaned into him. “Our Christmases get better every year, you know,” he said, “and I want to mark each one with something new. Our first was so special,” he added, a low, deep rumble in his voice. This was a rumble she knew well, and still set her heart beating a little faster after eight years of marriage.

“As to that, Mr. Parker, we can discuss it later,” she answered with a sly smile.

“I certainly hope so.” The rumble again.

“And yes, it was very special,” she added, looking away from the romantic spark in his eyes. She let out an appreciative laugh. “I adore the book you bought me, by the way.”

“I hoped you would like it,” he said.

“Can you tell us the Christmas waltz story again?” asked Caroline, who had obviously been listening to them, observant and alert as always. Charlotte made a mental note to herself to be aware of what she and Sidney said to each other within Caroline’s hearing from now on. Her astute daughter might start asking questions soon.

“Yes, but tell us the story while we ride,” William said. “Please let’s go, now.”

“Of course, we can tell you the story while we ride,” Charlotte answered. “What do you say, Sidney?”

“Yes. Is it your turn or mine?”

“Both of you please tell us,” said Alison.

“You start, Papa,” said Caroline. “I like how you describe entering the ball at Lady Denham’s house.”

“Very well,” he said. “Let’s get you all settled first, and we’ll take the sleigh to Uncle Tom and Aunt Mary’s house to show them and your cousins. I can give them a ride before the Christmas meal. Georgiana and Otis will be there too.”

Charlotte and Sidney tucked the blankets around the children, got in the front seat, and put their own blanket over their laps.

“Would you like the reins, Admiral Heywood?” Sidney asked with a half-smile, holding them out to her.

She laughed at the nickname he used frequently. “Not quite yet. I’ve never driven a sleigh. I assume you practiced a bit first?”

“Yes, Admiral, as a matter of fact, I did.”

The children giggled in the back, laughing and repeating the nickname, William saying, “I think it’s funny that cousin Jenny called you Admiral Heywood, Mama, and you say it all the time now, Papa.”

“I think it’s funny too,” said Sidney over his shoulder. “That’s why I say it.”

The children laughed again.

“Though you know,” he said in a serious tone, “your mother is truly the admiral of this ship we call the Parker family.” He reached out and squeezed her hand.

She squeezed back, giving him a warm smile. She replied, “I rather like to think of us as co-admirals, as you know.”

“Anything you say, Charlotte,” he said, mischief in his expression.

She rolled her eyes. “I think you have three children waiting for you to start the story.”

“So, I do.” He laughed, took the reins, set the horses to, and began the story that had been a family tradition ever since Caroline was old enough to understand. Charlotte snuggled against him, absorbing his warmth, and listened as the sleigh moved across the snow and over the hilltop towards the town of Sanditon proper, maneuvering between the trees on the winding road that went down the gentle slope to the seaside resort.

Note: I did research regarding weather patterns on the Sussex coast during the Regency era and after to make sure it actually snowed there. There were very cold patterns that brought snow during various years in December and January during this time in history, so I gave myself a little bit of creative license regarding the snow and year. I also gave myself creative license regarding sleighs being in England then, because it seems that sleighs were used more on the continent. As a well-off entrepreneur I imagine that Sidney, with Charlotte’s help, has become very successful and would be able to commission the making of a sleigh with all the trappings.


	2. Chapter 2

“And so we begin our tale,” Sidney started, his deep, calm voice quite perfect for weaving a tale. “Candles lit every corner of the ballroom at Sanditon House and light from the chandeliers danced off the walls and floors. Everything glittered and your mother was standing in a white dress with pearl buttons near the tall windows. The moon was visible through the window she stood by and moonlight washed over her, and I was so happy to see her…”

~

As Sidney talked, Charlotte closed her eyes, remembering how she had turned, seeing Sidney for the first time in four months after they had said good-bye to each other on the clifftops, unable to be together as they had wanted, for he had to marry for money to save his brother Tom from debtor’s prison. Of course, Sidney was not telling the children any of this, only the good parts appropriate for them, but her memory rapidly filled in the blanks, as it did every year when one or both of them narrated their story.

She had held her breath a bit in that moment when she turned and saw him in Lady Denham’s ballroom, for he looked as handsome as he had in the summer when they almost became engaged. She had not expected him to be in Sanditon until Christmas Eve, when she would already be gone. Candlelight bathed him, and various people approached him when he entered the tall doors. Impeccably groomed, he wore a black tailcoat and breeches, a white neckcloth and white shirt, and his hair was cut short as always. His hands were clasped behind his back and his dark brows knit slightly as he studied the room.

Braving the moment, knowing it would occur eventually, she met his eyes when his gaze fell upon her, and he gave her a shy, tentative smile. He didn’t look surprised that she was there, and she knew then that he had come to the ball to see her. She didn’t smile back, and instead turned away, assiduously avoiding looking at him as she listened to Lady Denham talk about what a success her Christmas ball was turning out to be, even with the snow falling on Sanditon three days before Christmas.

‘I also think my magnanimity in forgiving the remainder of Tom Parker’s debt should be celebrated,” Lady Denham was saying.

‘Of course, it was very kind of you, Lady Denham,’ said Charlotte, reining herself in from remarking that it was also Lady Susan Worcester’s generous investment in the town and her connection to the Prince Regent which had softened Lady Denham, who reveled in the pomp and circumstance that cloaked the town when that royal personage visited a month before. Sidney’s wealthy ward, Georgiana Lambe, and Lord Babington’s investment had helped as well, after Georgiana and the lord worked with Sidney once they knew his full predicament in agreeing to marry the wealthy widow Mrs. Eliza Campion.

Charlotte almost wished she had been in Sanditon for Lady Susan and the Prince Regent’s visit, for she adored Susan, but then she would have also been present for the scandal which broke out when it was discovered that Mrs.Campion had gotten herself ensconced in a not so discreet affair with Sir Edward Denham while engaged to Sidney. According to rumors, Mrs. Campion had found out Sidney was trying to find alternatives to fund Sanditon instead of using her money and in a fit of pique found her way to Edward Denham, the fortune hunter, as a way of trying to make Sidney jealous. Sir Edward had gotten drunk and stormed into an assembly, which he had a habit of doing, his hair wild and unruly, demanding that Mrs. Campion choose him over Sidney. Edward added further color to the scene when he added that if she didn’t choose him, he would tell everyone she had made sure that no banks in London would offer Sidney a loan to help Tom until after she was wed to Sidney. How unfortunate for Mrs. Campion that she had admitted this unscrupulous truth to the unreliable, dissolute Edward. The scene had provided immediate and embarrassing grounds for Sidney to call off the engagement.

Charlotte had heard it all in vivid, enthusiastic detail in a letter from Georgiana, down to describing Mrs. Campion tearfully telling Sidney in front of everyone that she loved him. Sidney responded by telling her gruffly under his breath—Georgiana had been close enough to hear him—that they did not suit and this incident provided evidence justifying an end to the engagement. He had swept away from Mrs. Campion as she clawed at him—Georgiana’s description—and left the assembly, a slight curl to his lips. A ‘Sidney smile’ Georgiana called it. No one saw him the rest of the night. Mrs. Campion stood rooted in the center of the ballroom as conversation renewed and the music struck up again. She eventually fled the assembly and didn’t stop fleeing until she reached France, apparently.

Charlotte brought herself back to the memory of Lady Denham’s Christmas ball. Even with her back turned, she somehow knew Sidney was approaching her after he waited for a time as she talked to the great lady…

~

“It’s your turn, Charlotte,” Sidney said, his voice breaking into her reverie. The reins firmly in his grip, snow sheered away from the sleigh as they cut down the hill into Sanditon.

Charlotte jumped a little. “My turn, yes.”

He gave her a knowing smile. “We’re on the part where I approached you at Lady Denham’s ball.”

“Yes, Mama,” her children piped in as a threesome, “it’s your turn. We want to hear about the dance.”

“Well, then, I won’t keep you waiting,” she said, making sure to put gladness into her voice, just as Sidney had, making sure to only tell the happy parts.

“So, your father came up to me to ask me to dance…”


	3. Chapter 3

Sidney listened to Charlotte launch into her part, smiling as the horses pulled the sleigh into the glimmering, crowded snow-strewn streets of Sanditon, which had grown considerably in the past eight years. Shoppers and revelers flitted from door to door, and wassailers’ voices echoed down the avenues. He headed for Trafalgar house, the residence of his brother Tom, Tom’s wife Mary and their four children.

~

He remembered hovering around the doors as Charlotte talked to Lady Denham by the window before he screwed up the courage to approach her. She had turned away from him, which did not bode well. When he felt brave enough and walked the periphery of the dance floor to Charlotte, she turned as though she knew he was there. She gazed up at him, and he was stunned silent for a moment. Her deep brown eyes bore the hurt he had put there four long months ago. Her beautiful face and hair shone in the glittering amber light, just as they had when he danced with her at the Sanditon assembly and the ball in London. So too at the Midsummer Ball in Sanditon, where he had not been able to secure a dance with her.

The memory of the Midsummer Ball brought nothing but pain. Everything had gone so wrong. He had every intention of proposing that night before the fire swept their dreams away. A quarter of a year had passed since he had seen the woman he loved, and he was as nervous as a green young man asking a young woman for his first dance.

‘Miss Heywood,’ he said quietly, wishing his heart would stop pounding so hard, ‘will you do me the honor of dancing with me?’

She looked stricken, cornered, and swept her gaze around as though seeking escape. It still pained him, remembering the tension in her face, even though she laid her hand on his arm, clearly seeing no way to reasonably decline him in front of all the people present. He led her to the center of the floor, put his hand on her waist, reveled in the touch as she put her gloved hand in his palm, and swept her into the swirl of dancers as the waltz began. She was stiff and kept her gaze averted, unlike the other times they danced together when she looked at him straight on. He worried in despair that she might choose to not talk to him at all. Then, a third of the way through the dance, she finally gazed up, startling him, and said, ‘You look well, Mr. Parker.’

‘As do you, Miss Heywood.’

‘I’m sure your family is happy you will be with them for Christmas.’

‘It’s my understanding that you came to visit Georgiana before you return for Christmas to Willingden.’

‘Yes, I leave tomorrow morning.’

‘Then will you permit me to have a moment to have a conversation with you tonight after we dance? I would like to speak to you before you return to Willingden.’

She looked down. ‘Mr. Parker-‘

‘Just for a moment. Please,’ he had pleaded, not worrying about the desperation in his voice. He needed her to know he was in earnest. He wondered if she noticed how well they danced together even with the tension between them. They glided around the floor as though they danced together every night. Some people were watching, admiring. As he twirled her under his arm, he caught a glimpse of Mary giving him an encouraging smile. He and Mary had talked far into the night a week after Charlotte left Sanditon in the summer, and Mary had admitted how sorry she was his and Charlotte’s happiness had been destroyed by his actions to save Tom from going to debtor’s prison. The smile on her face now showed him she was happy to see him dance with Charlotte, and he knew she was hoping against hope that he would be able to court Charlotte anew.

‘Mary is smiling at us,’ Charlotte said, as though reading his thoughts. ‘I’m aware that she hopes I will allow you to court me—she told me so last night. I suppose she knew you were coming here tonight and she chose not to tell me out of concern that I might not attend the ball. She clearly wanted me to see you, and talk to you, but I’m not sure it’s that simple.’

_Not that simple._ Her words gripped him like a vice, he felt his body stiffen, and he had stumbled slightly. He caught himself and held onto her, but it disrupted their rhythm, and she went silent until the piece ended, her opening up to him ending all too soon. They bowed to each other, he escorted her off the floor, and he turned to her quickly before she could walk away. ‘Please, may I get you refreshment and escort you to the couch at the end of the room?’

With a resigned nod, she said, ‘Of course. People are watching us. I don’t want to make a scene.’ She permitted him to get her lemonade from the refreshment room adjacent to the ballroom, and they retired to the couch in a small alcove surrounded by statuary and golden damask drapes hung on each side.

He settled himself next to her, clasped his hands tightly in front of him as he turned to her, and said, ‘It was Georgiana who told me you would be here tonight.’

‘Georgiana?’

‘Yes. She wanted to help me. These past months I have thought of nothing but you and how I could extricate myself from an engagement I never should have made. I should have sought farther than London for the relief of Tom’s debts after the fire, and I deeply apologize for hurting you. It was not long before I found out that you wrote to Lady Susan to ask her if she had any ideas that might help me and that you worked with her to make aid come to fruition. I also know you wrote to Georgiana, asking her to be easy on me. I wanted to write to you to thank you, but I knew as an affianced man it would be improper. I am glad to have the opportunity now to thank you. You worked to help me even though I hurt you grievously. You are a remarkable person, Miss Heywood.’

‘I am no more remarkable than any other person, Mr. Parker,’ she answered, a rosy blush coloring her cheeks.

‘But you are, Char—Miss Heywood. You always are. You help people, you rescue people, you make people find their better selves.’

Her eyes glittered suddenly, and he realized she was holding back tears. He wanted to take her hands in his, though that was not possible as yet, not even if they weren’t surrounded by people. He had to respect the distance she was trying to maintain, though it pained him to do so.

He settled for saying, ‘I told you that night after the regatta that you make me my best and truest self. That still holds. I know I don’t have the right, but I would like to ask you if you will permit me to get it right this time and court you, with the intention of asking your father permission to ask for your hand in marriage.’

Charlotte said under her breath, ‘I said that it’s not that simple.’

‘So, there is no hope for us?’ he asked, the thought constricting him, making him feel hollowed out, with nothing to fill him.

‘I didn’t say that.’

Surprised, confused, he searched her face. ‘So, there is hope?’

‘In the sense that we have much to talk about that we cannot talk about here. I will postpone my trip home one day so we may talk.”

A happiness he had not felt in months sparked in him, but he knew she had only invited him to talk. It was not a yes. He answered, ‘Thank you,’ knowing he still might not receive the answer he sought, an answer that would determine his future.

~

Sidney pulled himself from the memory as Charlotte finished describing the dance in detail, just as the children enjoyed, and described how they talked while sitting on the couch. He navigated the horses around a sharp corner, getting closer to Trafalgar House.

“It’s your turn now,” Charlotte said quietly, and he knew she was thinking of that moment on the couch and what came next.


	4. Chapter 4

Charlotte watched Sidney’s face as he spoke the next line of their story, always enjoying hearing him say it.

“After your Mama and I talked a while, I said to her, ‘I wish to dance with you again, Admiral Heywood. Will you grant me a second dance tonight?’”

The line always delighted the children.

~

Charlotte smiled, the memory still bright and hot in her mind, for he had startled her. It hadn’t occurred to her he would ask for a second dance, given the tension held taut between them like a bow string. Asking for a second dance after the first also flew against proper protocol. He should have waited. But it was the softly spoken ‘Admiral Heywood’ which had changed everything that night. The line held a profound meaning for her, for the day he had said it the first time in the summer during a walk on the beach their friendship became firmly rooted.

She had looked at him deeply after he asked for a second dance, allowing herself to see his sadness, his earnestness in full, permitting herself to see the love in his eyes. She knew he was sorry. She knew he hurt deeply too. She couldn’t resist the pull between them and found herself reaching out her hand before she knew what she was doing, not saying a word. Also silent, he laid her hand on his forearm, they rose from the couch, and they walked to the dance floor. They took up their position.

The music began and she let out a small gasp, recognizing the quiet start with violins as the same piece they had danced to at the Maudsley’s Ball.

Startled, Sidney said, ‘Forgive me, I didn’t realize-‘ he gave her a questioning look. ‘If you’d rather not-‘

‘I can handle it if you can, Mr. Parker,’ she answered, uncertain, but determined not to let a piece of music throw her off balance.

He began his bow, his hands behind his back, and she caught up, curtseying. Moving to the mellifluous sound of the violin, they stepped toward each other and back, forward and back, turned and changed places, forward and back, stepped shoulder to shoulder, and again. She forced her eyes upward. He was looking down at her, his expression speaking of all he had been telling her, earnest, hopeful, with a bit of uncertainty. She gave him a shy smile.

They turned again, holding their gazes, touching opposite hand to opposite hand, and again, his fingers warm through her glove. Then he turned them, his hand went to her waist, she rested hers against his palm and they were swaying. Every move held the same magic as the dance in London, and much more. At the Maudsley’s ball they hadn’t known yet they were heading towards love. Here, they were already in love, and struggling to either find each other again, or part for a second time. The second thought frightened her and as Sidney clasped her hands with his own, raising them above their heads, she stepped closer than necessary, wanting the nearness, so when he turned with her slowly, repeatedly, she brushed against him with every rotation, hardly proper ballroom etiquette.

A small smile bloomed on his face and she couldn’t help but return it as he twirled her away and brought her back, the music speeding up. Their smiles grew as they flowed through the steps, in perfect harmony. As the music slowed to an end, they forgot to twirl, just as they had in London, and Sidney held her close, his hand warm against the small of her back. This time she didn’t pull away to curtsey. They stood in the middle of the floor staring at each other, ignoring the end of the music.

‘Charlotte-‘ Sidney said with a whisper.

‘Sidney, people are watching us.’

He glanced about, stepped back, and bowed, then offered his arm as they left the dance floor. He said, ‘That’s the first time you’ve called me by my name instead of saying Mr. Parker.’

Conflicting emotions whirled through her. ‘Yes, I suppose it is. I- we- I think we should part for the rest of the evening, Mr. Parker. We can talk tomorrow, as I promised. Please,’ she said, hoping he would understand.

‘Of course. Whatever you wish.’

She heard the disappointment in his tone, saw worry in his expression, and found herself unable to say anything.

‘Good evening, Miss Heywood,’ he said, bowing then walking towards Mary.

Turning quickly, confused, and wishing to return to Trafalgar House, she ran into her friend Georgiana, who was suddenly right behind her, wearing a wide smile.

‘That was quite a dance,’ Georgiana said with a smirk.

‘There was a time you wouldn’t have been happy about that,’ Charlotte said under her breath, a bit curt.

‘Come talk with me,’ Georgiana said, grabbing her hand and whisking her out of the ballroom into a quiet anteroom where only a few people sat chatting with one another. Georgiana sat with her on a couch and frowned. ‘What is wrong?’

‘It’s too much too soon,’ Charlotte said, dashing a tear from her eye, angry with herself for crying. ‘And Sidney said you told him I would be here. When you asked me to visit and attend the ball you omitted to tell me he would be here.’

Georgiana took her hand. ‘I told him because you love each other. I know I used to hate him because he brought me away from Antigua to this big, cold island you call England, but these past few months have shown me his true side, not the gruff man he used to show to the world. And he’s letting me correspond with Otis. He’s allowing me to be myself and make my own choices. He’s even going to allow me to have my own household next to Trafalgar House with a companion to guide me in the new year. You did that for him, and I thank you for it because it has helped me, both in having him understand me and in enabling he and I to become friends. I’m not just a ward he seems uninterested in anymore. He always cared, and just did not show it.’

‘I know that, and I am grateful for it. Still, this is all so much, and I was not prepared for it. You lured me here on false pretenses, my dear friend,’ Charlotte said, softening her words with a small smile.

‘Are you angry with him for not finishing his proposal and engaging himself to Mrs. Campion? I have never been clear on that. You seemed to understand the reason and accept it, though it caused you pain.’

‘Angry, no, but uncertain about my own strength. I haven’t seen him in four months and here I just give way so easily to my love after the burden of knowing he became engaged to Mrs. Campion to save Tom? My rational side tells me it understands, yet my heart tells me he still hurt me. You need to know, Georgiana, in between those dances he asked if he might ask my father’s permission for my hand.’

‘Already? He is very impatient, indeed. I thought he would show more restraint than that, but he is a passionate man,’ Georgiana said with a slight smile. ‘And you don’t like that?’

‘I do like it, and that’s the problem. It tells me I’m willing to give way so easily because I love him. As soon as I saw him in the ballroom, I was lost. Shouldn’t my uncertainty last longer? Shouldn’t I be stronger than that?’

‘You mean you want him to have to work harder for your hand.’

‘Well, yes,’ Charlotte replied, half crying, half laughing.

‘Then make him work, and then after he has worked, you say yes.’

Charlotte laughed fully this time. ‘Your eyes are positively gleaming with mischief. You and Sidney may be friends now, but I see you like the idea of him having to work for it.’

‘Yes, I do. By the way, you keep calling him Sidney.’

Charlotte fiddled with one of the pearl buttons on her dress and looked down. ‘I called him Sidney after we danced and he brought it up too. After that, I said he and I should part for the rest of the night and we will talk tomorrow.’

‘So, let’s end the night and enjoy ourselves, and you can wake up and greet tomorrow with fresh eyes. You can see him without the glitter of candlelight warming his handsome face and without the romance of music surrounding you and making your heart flutter. You can see him for himself and talk in full daylight, and see where you stand. Though I suggest that you not dance with anyone else. Decline other requests so Sidney may see that you are in earnest and that you take him and your situation seriously.’

‘That is very wise advice. I had no intention of dancing with anyone else tonight, regardless.’

Charlotte stood up and walked back with Georgiana to the ballroom, feeling calm enough to see Sidney again. She glanced around the ballroom, hoping to see him, even though she had said they should part for the rest of the evening. Georgiana’s words had given her hope and a way to deal with her feelings.

Another sweep of her eyes showed her that Sidney was gone. Dare she go around the rooms looking for him?

‘I don’t see him either,’ said Georgiana.

Charlotte gave her a startled glance.

‘It’s all over your face,’ Georgiana answered. ‘I know you were looking for him. I’ll take a turn about the rooms for you.’ She was off.

Charlotte went to stand by the windows. After a minute or so Tom Parker came up to her, pale and thinner than he had been during the summer. A tall man, he seemed shrunken now. Even though his financial problems had been solved, he bore the shame of needing other people to save him and the consequences had taken a toll, according to Mary. When she arrived at Trafalgar House for this visit, he had been quiet and shy around her, though very welcoming and very determined to make her stay at their house enjoyable.

‘Hello, Charlotte,’ Tom said, a somber quietness in his voice, despite the merriness around him. ‘I hope you’re enjoying the ball. I saw you and Sidney dance. I’m glad you did.’ Even after a few days of her visit, Tom was uncertain, uncomfortable with the fact that he had been responsible for her and Sidney being parted.

‘I’m enjoying it very much, yes.’

‘If you were looking for Sidney, he went to Trafalgar House. A servant was sent here to tell Mary and I that Henry woke up not feeling well, so Sidney offered to return to the house and check on him.’

‘Oh, I see. Thank you for telling me. I hope it’s not serious.’

Tom shuffled from foot to foot. ‘No, it’s just a bit of a stomach ache. Sidney seemed eager to help, so that’s why we’re here and he’s there. He’s a wonderful uncle, but you already know that.’

‘Yes, he is,’ said Charlotte, recognizing what Tom was trying to say without saying it.

He shuffled again. ‘Well, I just wanted to tell you. I hope you enjoy the rest of the night.’ He bowed and started walking off then stopped and said, ‘Please give him a chance, Charlotte. He loves you. I will forever be sorry that I was the source of your unhappiness. You have brought joy and sunshine to our family time and time again, and we see you as family.’

‘Thank you. I appreciate it.’

Tom bowed again and walked the perimeter of the room to Mary, who stood speaking with Georgiana.

Charlotte looked out the window into the night. _Good uncle. Good man. Good man who loves me. Why am I hesitating?_

Sudden certainty drove her away from the window and around the room to Mary’s side. Georgiana and Tom had wandered away to talk to Lord and Lady Babington. ‘Tom just told me Mr. Parker returned to Trafalgar House to check on Henry. I would like to check as well, if it’s all right with you. If you can lend me your carriage, I’ll send it back here.’

‘Of course, that’s very kind of you, dear,’ said Mary. ‘Are you well? You look a bit tired.’

‘It’s just been a busy few days.’ Charlotte gave Mary a wry look. ‘Though I know you see through me. You saw me dance with Mr. Parker.’

‘I’m glad you danced with him, Charlotte. It gives me hope you are giving him a chance.’ Mary reached out and squeezed her hand. ‘If Sidney is still there when you get to the house tell him we’ll be returning in half an hour.’

‘I will. Thank you.’ Charlotte peeled away from the crowd and went to claim her cloak and bonnet for the ride home. The carriage was drawn up to the walk outside Sanditon House, she left through the large front doors, and accepted a footman’s help to alight in the carriage. Settling back against the squab, she smiled, knowing that Mary would return soon herself since it wasn’t appropriate for her to be alone in the house with Sidney for long; Mary was giving them just enough time to see each other before her and Tom’s return.

Charlotte watched the moonlight reflect off the snow on the carriage ride back, thinking of what she would say to Sidney, wondering if she would have the courage.

~

“Charlotte, you’re next,” Sidney’s voice broke into her reverie, bringing her back to the present, “but we’ve arrived at Trafalgar House.”

She glanced up and saw Tom, Mary, and the children already coming outside to greet them, dressed in their winter coats and pelisses. Thirteen-year-old Jenny, twelve-year-old Alicia, eleven-year-old Henry, and eight-year-old James exclaimed at sight of the sleigh, in high spirits.

“Where are you in your memories?” Sidney asked under his breath as he climbed out of the sleigh to help their children out.

“I’m about to arrive at Trafalgar House to see you and Henry.”

“Ah,” said Sidney. “Well, let’s get the children inside and you can continue the story.”

“I’ll try to leave out the romantic parts,” she said cheekily.

“It’s all romantic to me.” The rumbly voice again.

She felt her cheeks blush. Even after eight years, he still had that power over her. She would definitely have to talk to him about the way they talked in front of the children.


	5. Chapter 5

Sidney sat on the piano bench, watching all the children gather around Charlotte in the parlor before the roaring fire, the youngest on the floor and the rest on chairs and the two couches. Crisp smelling greenery decorated the doorways and mantel. Tom and Mary passed around tea and gingerbread and sugared almonds, lending the air a spicy, festive scent. Georgiana and Otis would arrive later. Their two-year-old was most likely holding them up, Sidney thought. He knew how that could be.

Charlotte settled herself in the gold damask chair. The firelight warmed her cheeks and danced playfully on her burgundy-colored dress.

“So, everyone,” Charlotte said, ‘since we started the story already—all of you older ones know it well—we are at the part in the story where I leave the ball to find Sidney and a three-and-a half-year-old Henry.”

The children giggled and looked at Henry, now eleven. He blushed and rolled his eyes.

“The night was cold and I bundled myself tight in my cloak as the carriage rolled through the snow, worried that Sidney had to leave to see to Henry. When I arrived back at the house, candlelight lit only the parlor and hallway. All else was dark downstairs. I followed the hallway to the stairs and saw candlelight flicker up there and went up the steps…”

~

Sidney remembered hearing footsteps on the stairway and thought Tom and Mary had come home from the ball, sooner than he thought they would. He had hoped they would not be mad that he and Henry were playing with the toy horses. He wanted to distract Henry from the stomach-ache after giving him medicine for the ailment. The door to Henry’s room stood open and they sat on the narrow bed together, using the blanket to form caves for stables, and having the horses clip-clip across the covers. Sidney made clip-clopping sounds with his mouth and Henry laughed.

A footfall hit the threshold and Sidney felt someone watching.

Tom would have joined right in and taken over the game and Mary would have walked quietly away after checking on them. It wasn’t either of them. He recognized Charlotte’s footfall in this house from the summer. He turned, surprised.

‘You left the ball?’ he asked.

‘Yes, I- I heard that you left for Henry and I- I just wanted to check.’

‘Uncle Sidney, you stopped clip-clopping,’ Henry said, a pout in his voice.

‘Oh, sorry, Henry. Clip-clop, clip-clop goes Chester the horse into his stable, eager for his food. And here comes his friend Sam, the youngest horse, wanting food too.’

‘Will you play with us, Charlotte?’ Henry asked. ‘I like the way you do their voices. It’s just as good as Uncle Sidney.’

‘Of course,’ Charlotte said, removing her cloak and bonnet and putting them on a chair in the corner.

Sidney tensed as she came in the room, feeling all too keenly how she had asked for them to part for the rest of the evening. Why had she come, knowing he was here?

She went to the chair at the side of the bed and picked up one of the horses, saying, ‘Here is Runner, coming to eat too. Neighhh, neighhh, he says, so happy to eat with his friends.’ She pushed the toy named Runner toward one of the blanket stables, her hand accidentally brushing Sidney’s arm as she leaned over.

He gave her a questioning look.

She said quietly, ‘After we talk, and I tell you my feelings tomorrow, I think you will like what I have to say.’

His eyes widened in surprise. ‘Are you serious?’

‘Yes.’

Henry knit his brows. ‘Horses don’t talk like that, Charlotte and Uncle Sidney.’

Sidney looked back at his nephew, trying hard to hold back a tear. He took a deep breath to calm himself. ‘Of course. Sorry, Henry.’ He shot a hopeful look at Charlotte and she nodded, following it with a sly smile.

‘You will have to work for it a bit, though,’ she said.

‘Whatever you wish,’ he said, noting the lighter tone in her voice, though he found it hard to relax, wondering what she might say, pondering what her feelings might be about him.

‘Uncle Sidney,’ Henry whined, ‘horses.’

‘Yes, right. Horses.’ He grabbed a horse named Maisie. ‘Neighhhh, here comes Maisie.’

‘And here’s Amelia,’ Charlotte chimed in as she picked up another horse.

They played on until they heard Tom and Mary arrive downstairs over half an hour later.

Sidney gave Charlotte a sheepish look, still worried Tom and Mary might not be pleased he had kept Henry up, though the playing and medicine seemed to have worked. Henry hadn’t complained for the last twenty minutes.

Mary appeared in the doorway. ‘Having fun, all of you?’

‘My stomach-ache is better, Mama,’ said Henry. ‘Uncle Sidney and Charlotte made it better.’

‘I see that. Well, you can play a little longer, but then it’s time to sleep, all right?’

‘All right, Mama.’

Sidney noted the grateful look Mary gave him before she walked away.

‘You heard your mother,’ said Sidney gently, ‘just a little longer.’

‘That’s okay, I’m tired,’ said Henry, rubbing his eyes and lying back on his pillows.

Sidney stood up. His knee accidentally brushed Charlotte’s hip before he turned back to the bed. ‘I’ll just tuck you in then.’

Charlotte rose from her chair. ‘Goodnight, Henry.’

‘G’night,’ he said, his voice sleepy and faint.

Sidney knew Charlotte watched from the doorway as he helped Henry settle under the covers and cleared the bed of the horses, putting them on their shelf on the other side of the room. When he was done, he blew out the candle and kissed Henry on the forehead. Charlotte backed into the hallway and he shut the door. They stared at each other. The hallway candle threw warm light on her face and her ball gown.

‘Thank you for coming and helping me with Henry,’ he said, looking down at her, forcing himself not to take her hand. It took great willpower not to do so. He wanted so much to know all her thoughts right now and to share his own. He wanted to kiss her as well, though that was out of the question.

She gave him a gentle smile, looking more relaxed than she had all night. ‘You hardly needed my help. You are a wonderful uncle and you knew just what he needed.’

‘Thank you. I appreciate the compliment.’ He looked at the floor, deciding what to say next. He felt her eyes on him as she waited for him to speak, her eternal patience and understanding coming to the fore. She was the most remarkable woman. Gathering his thoughts, he looked into her eyes and said, ‘Something changed your mind after we parted. What made you decide to come here?’

‘As I said, I heard about Henry and I wished to check on both of you. When I-’ She stopped a moment, clearly needing to gather her thoughts as well. She took a deep breath and continued, saying, ‘When I left you in the ballroom, I had time to reflect. I went to look for you and found out you had left to help Henry. I wish to tell you more, but this is not the best place to speak. Not in this hallway. Please, may I tell you more tomorrow? Perhaps we can meet at the gazebo by the river at noon? It’s public, but we can also have privacy.’

‘Of course, whatever you wish.’ Relief flooded him. She had given herself time to reflect and sought him out. She had said earlier he would like what she had to say. He could not reasonably ask for more.

She smiled. ‘Tomorrow then. Goodnight.’

He watched her walk down the long hallway. When she reached her door, she gave him another gentle smile and she went inside her room. The door clicked closed.

Hands on his hips, he took a deep breath, then walked downstairs, retrieved his coat, hat, and cane and went to his hotel for what he knew would be a restless sleep.

~

“…and we had so much fun playing with the horses that Henry’s stomach-ache went away,” Charlotte was saying to the children. “We’ll let Sidney tell you the next part, and you know what that is…”

“Willingden,” the younger ones called out. “Papa in Willingden, trying to be a farmer,” William added in delight, and they all laughed.

“Yes, you may laugh,” Sidney said jokingly. “Laugh at your poor Papa’s expense, my little ones, and your poor uncle, the rest of you.” He grinned at Charlotte and started forward. “Make way, the storyteller seat is mine now.”

“I cede the seat to you, Sir,” Charlotte said playfully, rising from the chair. Sidney squeezed her hand as he passed her before he took the seat and threw her another grin, one filled with shared secrets that no one else knew.

Sidney rubbed his hands together in an exaggerated fashion and waggled his brows to show them comedy was about to ensue. “All right children, the farm story…”


	6. Chapter 6

Charlotte bit her lip, laughing as Sidney launched into the story of how he ended up at her family’s farm in Willingden one day after Christmas. Though while he entertained the children, the conversation which led to him going to the farm was uppermost in her memory.

~

The morning after the night she helped Sidney with Henry, she had risen early and thought through the long hours about the conversation to come. She told Mary she was going for a walk, bundled up in her warmest cloak and hat, and headed for the gazebo that had been built for the regatta last summer. It was cold and the lawns were covered with snow, but she wanted her mind bright and sharp. She sat down on the little bench inside the gazebo, studying the ice on the nearby river, the same river Sidney and the other men of the town had competed on in a boat race for the regatta, the same day Sidney told her she made him his best and truest self. That moment had changed the direction of her life.

Not long after her arrival, she spied Sidney’s tall figure striding across the snow, his overcoat swinging, his hand holding his top hat on his head, vying with a soft wind, his cane in his other hand. His black clothes were striking against the carpet of white. She tried not to think of the body under the clothes, which she had seen once by accident when she came upon him swimming nude in a cove. Sudden nerves hit her. She took a deep breath, and soon Sidney was in front of the gazebo, wearing a tentative smile.

‘It’s rather cold here,’ he said, his breath creating clouds in the air.

‘It’s also a place I thought we could find ourselves alone, but still in public. Anyone who is out playing in the snow is on the other side of the wood. If you don’t like it-‘

‘I like it very well,’ he said, walking up the stairs into the gazebo. He gestured at the bench. ‘May I?’

‘Yes, you may,’ she answered, moving over to make room for him.

He leaned his cane against the wall and sat. He looked at her. ‘I’m not sure what to expect. Last night you said I would like what you have to say. I felt I had reason to hope you mean to say I may ask for your father’s permission to pay my addresses, but it was clear you have much on your mind. When I woke in the clear light of day I wondered if I had only heard what I wanted to hear in your words.’

‘What do you think you heard?’

He looked down. ‘I don’t want to pressure you, Miss Heywood.’

‘Charlotte.’

He glanced at her. ‘What?’

‘Call me Charlotte. No more Miss Heywood when we’re alone.’

‘May I take that to mean that you intend for us to be alone at times in the future?’

‘Yes.’

Hope and a world of emotion crossed his features. ‘So, I may ask your father?’

‘Yes, you may.’

He exhaled as though he were breathing out all his worries and said quietly, ‘You have just made me the happiest man. I’ve missed you so much.’

‘And you have made me the happiest woman to hear you say that. I’ve missed you too.’

He put out his hand and she rested hers in his palm, regretting that they both wore gloves. She wanted to feel their touch.

Sidney stared at their joined hands and said, ‘You haven’t told me yet what you were thinking when you had time to reflect. When you parted from me after our second dance, I thought you were upset and couldn’t get far enough away from me.’

‘I talked with Georgiana in one of the anterooms and she was able to get me to reveal the source of my discomfort.’

‘And what was that?’

‘I was upset with myself for giving into you so easily. One dance, one conversation, and a second dance had managed to sweep me away, and I felt-‘

‘Felt what?’ he asked, his countenance grave.

‘I felt like the burden I carried after we parted in the summer, the loss I bore, should not be so easily forgotten by me, or by you. I didn’t want to get swept up by you, by my feelings.’

‘I understand,’ he said, looking down and scuffing his boot in the snow that had floated onto the gazebo floor. ‘You think I was taking advantage of your feelings and kindness. I can see how you would think that when I approached you so freely, as though nothing had happened, as though I had not hurt you. It might appear as arrogance, but it was just hope on my part. I didn’t think of how you would see it. Forgive me.’

He sounded so earnest, so full of guilt, that she put her other hand out. He took it so both of her hands were joined with his.

‘I-‘ she started in confusion. ‘I don’t think you’re arrogant. I don’t think you were taking advantage of me. I know you love me, otherwise you would not have worked so hard to find another way to finance Sanditon.’ She bit her lip, wondering if she should ask the question that had been on her mind then decided to go forward.

‘Can you share with me what happened at the assembly a month ago? Georgiana said you disappeared and weren’t seen the rest of the night.’

He nodded. ‘I didn’t want people to see that I was laughing, and kept on laughing, after Edward brought Mrs. Campion’s truths to light. It seemed rather inappropriate to reveal the level of my relief to so many people at the assembly who I did not know. I stayed in my room at the hotel and drank to my luck, repeatedly. It was a wonderful stroke of fate that after all my work to find my way out of the engagement to Mrs. Campion that it was her own hubris which provided my opportunity for an exit, and a very quick and easy one, at that.’

‘Georgiana did say you were wearing a ‘Sidney smile’.

‘A Sidney smile?’

‘Yes, that little curl of your lip you do when something strikes your fancy, but doesn’t warrant a full laugh.’

‘Ah, _that_ smile.’ He nodded, his expression becoming grave again. ‘I’m not laughing anymore now, though. My happiness was short lived. Since that night, I have hoped to see you and talk with you, and I am relieved that you believe that I love you. I do, and I will do whatever you ask of me so I can prove I am worthy of you.’

‘You don’t need to prove anything to me. After I talked with Georgiana, I stood by myself for a while so I could reflect, and I decided to go to Trafalgar House knowing you were there. You are a good man, you are a good uncle, and you are a good man who loves me. I asked myself why I was hesitating when I know how good you are, and I feel that the answer is my pride, with some anger thrown in. However, I don’t think these are insurmountable feelings if we talk.”

‘Tell me all your feelings, yell at me, shake your fists. I can take it all, as long as we may talk and you feel you can accept me, Charlotte.’

She wished again that they weren’t wearing gloves so she could feel the warmth of his hands. She gave him a sheepish smile. ‘Georgiana said that if it would make me feel better to make you work for it, I should.’

‘Ah, so that’s where the work comes in. I will work day and night, in snow, rain, or sleet, doing whatever I need to do to win your hand. I will stand on my head in the snow for the rest of the day.’

She allowed her smile to grow. ‘Then I have a proposition for you.’

‘Yes?’ he said, wearing a look of hope mixed with wariness. He let out a half laugh. ‘You have a gleam in your eyes. What is in your mind, Charlotte?’

‘Come to Willingden after Christmas. I’m going to put you to work. I’ve seen your life here. Come see mine.’

‘That’s what you want me to do? Come work on your farm?’ he laughed in surprise.

‘I think it will be good for you, Mr. Parker, and I think I shall enjoy watching,’ she said, giving him an arch smile. ‘I think you shall look rather fetching in work clothes.’

‘If that’s what it takes, Admiral Heywood, I am all yours.’

She locked eyes with him and lifted a hand to touch his cheek, a daring move. He closed his eyes. She touched his other cheek, then his chin and leaned forward, letting their foreheads rest against each other. They both breathed slowly, taking the moment of silence, sharing this quiet space alone in the crisp winter air.

‘I love you, Charlotte,’ Sidney said.

‘I love you, Sidney.’

He touched her cheek, his voice husky as he asked, ‘May we?’

‘It’s not as if we haven’t before,’ she said, finding her voice husky too. ‘There’s no one here.’

Sidney hovered on the brink for a moment then softly kissed her, gentle and loving, not rushed. The joy and warmth she felt being kissed by him again made her feel bold. Giving way to the longing of the past four months, she deepened the kiss, reveling in the way he drew her close in response, in the way their bodies fit. She brought her arms up around him. Being alone with him, so close, excited her, creating a want she was sure could not be satisfied with just a kiss. After a while he drew away a bit. She felt the heat of the blush on her cheeks.

In a gruff, slightly out of breath voice he said, ‘When I think of our kiss on the cliff top, I imagine how many kisses we could have shared since then, over all these months.’

‘I’ve imagined them too. We have plenty of time to make up for it,’ she whispered.

‘I know how improper this is,’ he said. ‘Someone might come upon us. We should stop.’

‘Yes, I suppose so,’ she said, running her hand across the back of his neck. His breath caught and he gave her a sly grin.

‘That’s not going to help me stop,’ he said, half-laughing, nuzzling her cheek, following with a lingering kiss on her forehead. He tightened his embrace.

They held each other, breathing each other in.

‘So, are you coming to Willingden?’ she said after a while, pulling away a bit, still holding him.

‘Nothing could keep me away. I will celebrate Christmas with my family then travel to Willingden the day after. I have to report to work, after all, Admiral Heywood.’

‘The sooner the better.’

~

Charlotte smiled to herself, bringing her mind back into the room where Sidney was in the middle of mimicking the work he had done on the farm. The younger children were roaring with laughter.

“Sooo, after knocking over a bucket full of milk after milking the cow, I then proceeded to slip on some hay while mucking out a horse stall later in the afternoon. I accidentally put my foot in a bucket and fell backwards into a rack of riding gear and got tangled up. The horse in the stall with me gave me a look that said, ‘Mr. Parker, you are the clumsiest man in all of England. Get someone else to muck out my stall before you knock me over.’”

William beat his feet on the ground, doubled over as Sidney imitated the annoyed look of the horse. The girls laughed, grabbing onto their father, who got on all fours and hoisted them onto his back. William took hold of Sidney’s neckcloth and started to lead him around the room like a horse.

Charlotte shook her head as Sidney gave her a dazzling, happy smile from under the children piled on top of him. “And that is the last job your grandfather, Mr. Heywood, gave me in the stables. He decided I’d be more helpful sorting books in the library and chopping wood.”

Charlotte chuckled. Sidney wasn’t bad at any of the winter farm jobs he’d been given by her father, but he enjoyed entertaining the children with ‘Papa’s Adventures on the Farm’, and had asked Caroline to draw pictures of all the jobs he described and make a book of them. The book proudly resided in their parlor, left there for anyone to read.

“All right, children, I’ve worked up a thirst,” Sidney said. “Why don’t you get some more treats and drinks so I can get my own refreshment.”

Caroline, Alison and William disengaged themselves from their father and walked with alacrity to Mary, who offered them more gingerbread.

Charlotte reached out a hand to Sidney as he walked towards her. He took her hand and gave it a light kiss. “You do have a gift for exaggeration, my dear,” she said.

“Indeed,” he said, “but it makes them happy.” He gestured around the room. “Now it’s your turn. The last part.”

She was tempted to kiss him, drawn by the look he was giving her. “Stop looking at me like that. I have to finish the story.”

He squeezed her hand. “Tell away,” he teased her in his low rumble, following with a roguish smile. He sat down in a chair near Charlotte and their children came to sit on his lap. He ruffled their hair, one by one, their soft, dark curling locks so much like Charlotte’s. She took her seat in front of the fire and began the last part of the tale the children loved.


	7. Chapter 7

“So, while your father did chores, I helped your grandparents plan celebrations every night for Christmastide. Every day we played parlor games like spillikins and charades, and we ate and ate so many treats. Your Papa even attempted to help us make taffy, but got it in his hair the first time.”

Sidney chuckled as Charlotte launched into a series of her own exaggerations of his adventures on the farm while he visited them for the remainder of Christmastide and a week beyond that. When she reached her narrative of the playful, child-friendly theatricals they performed in the Heywoods' large parlor, he saw Georgiana and Otis sneak in quietly, holding the hands of their son, John, four, and daughter, Amelia, two. They sank onto a settee, holding the children on their laps. He waved at them, forever glad that he had allowed Georgiana to make her own choices. Instead of remaining justifiably angry at him and bitter, she had blossomed into a talented businesswoman after she invested some of her money in Sanditon, re-established contact in Antigua, and waited for Otis to return from his time in the Merchant Marines, so they could marry and build their own family. Her father would have been proud.

Two people had changed his life for the better: Charlotte and Georgiana’s father, Mr. Lambe, who had saved his life in Antigua. Then he had met Charlotte’s family during that Christmastide, creating another sea change.

~

His memory filled with an image of the theatricals at the Heywood place that week. He had helped build and paint small sets and consented to be in one play, at the Heywood children’s request. He played several comical animals, making Charlotte’s family laugh uproariously. Then her sister, Alison, had suggested he and Charlotte read love poetry to each other, but Mrs. Heywood quickly admonished her under her breath and told her to go play the pianoforte. The Heywoods were a warm, kind family and he knew that this was what he wanted for the family he and Charlotte would make together, if Mr. Heywood gave them his blessing.

That night at the farm, as everyone drifted out of the parlor and off to their bedrooms, sleepy and happy, he had seen Mr. Heywood beckon to Charlotte and she followed him into the study. He stayed in the room and paced, watching flames make shadows on the parlor walls, tension coursing through him, thinking Charlotte might be having a conversation with her father about her future. Their future.

She had emerged from the study half an hour later, and said, ‘My father wishes to speak with you.’

He raised a brow, unable to tell from her expression whether she was happy.

She said, ‘I believe you have worked to great satisfaction, Mr. Parker.’

Before he could answer, she walked away and turned the corner into the hallway, but he saw a smile bloom on her face before she disappeared down the corridor. He wanted to smile himself, yet he schooled his features into a serious expression before knocking on the study door.

‘Come in,’ Mr. Heywood called out.

Nerves suddenly souring his stomach, Sidney walked into the study and closed the door. ‘You wish to speak with me, Mr. Heywood.’ He looked at the older, wiser man, hopeful yet cautious.

‘Let’s cut the formalities, Mr. Parker. Before you arrived, Charlotte told me you wished to seek her hand in marriage. I know what occurred between you in Sanditon during the summer because my daughter is an honest young woman. Though a full week passed before she told me. I could tell that she was sad, and I chose to let her come to her mother and I when she was ready. She told her mother first, and then her mother sent her to me. We heard her out, and she made us understand the reason the two of you did not make a match. While it grieved me, I understood the plight of your family and I respected that you felt it your duty to help your brother, no matter the cost to you. We were hesitant to let Charlotte visit Sanditon again, but Georgiana—who visited us several times during the fall—begged her to go. When Charlotte returned to us for Christmas, she told us you were free to seek her hand and that you asked her if you might ask my permission. You have worked hard here. I chuckled when my daughter told me she said you would have to work for her hand, and her rather unusual idea was for you to literally work on the farm.’

Sidney looked down at the floor, trying not to laugh.

‘Yes, please laugh with me, Mr. Parker. You have chosen to ask a wonderfully high-spirited young woman for her hand. You are very fortunate she chooses to love you still after what happened.’

Sidney raised his head, erasing his laughter. ‘Yes, I am, Mr. Heywood.’

‘I believe you know that. Your work here, your interactions with my family and with my daughter, have all proven that to me. You may ask your question now.’

Holding back a smile, not wanting to make an assumption, Sidney asked the question he had longed to ask for months. ‘Mr. Heywood, may I have leave to ask for your daughter’s hand in marriage?’

‘Yes, you may.’

Sidney started forward, relief filling his mind. ‘Thank you, sir.’

Mr. Heywood held out his hand. Sidney shook it. ‘Now go tell my lovely, intrepid daughter that I granted my permission. I have a feeling she knows because she left my study earlier looking like she was walking on a cloud, but go tell her anyway.’

‘Yes, sir. I’ll go now.’

Sidney kept his steps measured, though he felt like running. After peeking into a few rooms, he found her in the library, shelving all the books the children had rummaged through during the day, looking for what to read out loud for their theatricals.

She turned at his entry. ‘Well?’

‘He said yes.’

Charlotte raced to him and he pulled her into his arms. They held each other a moment, but he quickly let her go, fearing they would be seen. She frowned.

He shrugged. ‘I just got his permission. I’m not going to ruin it by letting him find you in my enthusiastic embrace, as much I would like to keep holding you. It feels like an age since we held each other in the gazebo.’

Still frowning, she said, ‘You’re right, of course.’ She reached out a hand and he took it, giving it a light brush of his lips before casting a furtive glance over his shoulder.

‘You still have a job to do, Mr. Parker,’ she said in a commanding tone.

‘I do?’

‘He gave you permission. You haven’t asked,’ she said with a smirk.

‘Well then.’

‘Well…then do it.’

He laughed at the flirtatious look she wore, bowed, and went to one knee. ‘Miss Heywood, will you do me the honor of becoming my wife?’

‘As long as you promise to call me Admiral Heywood, at least from time to time. I do love it so.’

‘Is that your first command?’

‘It is,’ she said in a sing-song tone.

‘Then I will obey.’

‘Then I will absolutely become your wife.’

He stood up, reaching for her hand, startled when she swept by him. ‘Where are you going?’

She kept walking and closed the door until it remained open by only an inch or so. She came back to him, took his hand and led him to the space behind the door. ‘I don’t want anyone to see this,’ she whispered. ‘If anyone starts to come in, we’ll know and we can grab a book from the shelf and pretend we’ve been reading.’

‘You’re always full of surprises, Admiral Heywood.’

‘I assure you there are many more to come,’ she said, stepping up to him, showing him what she wanted.

Still nervous about being found, he couldn’t help himself. Reaching up to touch her cheek, he noticed his fingers tremble a bit against her skin, realizing he was as nervous as a callow youth. He leaned down, giving her a soft, lingering, longing kiss. Her hands wandered around his waist and up his back to embrace him, and she deepened the kiss. She always delighted him with her prowess. He responded, pulling her closer, elated by her boldness, on the sword’s edge of doing something imprudent. The thought made him slow the kiss and end it with reluctance, leaning his forehead against hers to catch his breath.

Also breathless, Charlotte bit her lip. ‘I’ve had a dream of kissing you in a book room, Mr. Parker.’

‘Good dream,’ he said, brushing his lips against her cheek. ‘We should have a book room in our own house, then we can kiss there all we like,’ he added, keeping his voice low so as not to be heard outside the room.

‘I want lots and lots of books, Mr. Parker, one book per kiss.’ She kissed his cheek, his other cheek, his chin, his neck, which made him feel on the edge again.

‘You know, one of the hills above Sanditon has a nice prospect. I’d like to build our house there. We can have as many book rooms as you want.’

‘I would love that,’ she said, ‘the more books and the more kisses the better,’ words she followed with a gentle kiss at the corner of his mouth. ‘That’s the fifth book.’

‘You’re going to lose count at this rate.’

‘That sounds like something to strive for.’

She pursued this train of thought with another long kiss. He ran his hands up and down her back, and she mirrored every move. After a while, he pulled away and whispered against her mouth, ‘Charlotte, may we ask for the banns to be read as soon as possible so we can be wed? Four weeks from now, perhaps, if that can be managed. I’m sure your parents want us to wed in your church. I doubt they will want us to use a common license.’

‘I’ll go tell my father.’

‘Good. And I shall bid you goodnight.’

Charlotte slowly ended the embrace, stepped away, squeezed his hand, and left the room with a sparkle in her eyes.

Sidney ran a hand through his hair, distracted, and muttered to himself, ‘Admiral Heywood, indeed. I need a brisk walk in the cold air.’ While retrieving his overcoat and hat, he passed the study and heard Charlotte speaking to her father.

He smiled, hearing her soft, brilliant voice. He would buy her all the books in the world if she asked. With that thought, he strode out of the house into the winter night, walking in the snow to the guest house where he was staying, dreaming of new possibilities.


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading this story and thank you for the wonderful comments and kudos. This is my first Sanditon fan fiction story. The toy boat scene in the show was my overall inspiration. It was such a warm, fun scene, and it made me think of what Charlotte and Sidney might be like with a family of their own. I like to think they would be very hands-on parents and that they would build a loving community of friends and family in the town. One of my favorite lines is "Admiral Heywood" when Sidney says it on their walk on the beach and I've wanted to use it in a story for a long time. Thank you again. I hope you enjoy the final chapter.

“And so that is how we became engaged during Christmastide in 1820 after much revelry, and were married four weeks later at the little church in Willingden, with both our families and all of our friends present, with Georgiana at my side, and Lord Babington at your Papa’s side,” Charlotte finished, obviously omitting the more intimate details of her accepting his proposal. She glanced over at him. Alison was nodding off, her head resting against his shoulder, while William and Caroline were still alert.

Sidney gave Charlotte a nod. They had made many wonderful memories since that night he gained permission to ask for her hand.

The family started to sing carols and pass out more treats. Alison rubbed her eyes and climbed off his lap to get some gingerbread from Georgiana. Caroline and William followed. Sidney rose and went to Charlotte, putting a hand on her shoulder.

“I happen to be very fond of our story,” he said.

She laid a hand over his. “Me too. I suppose it’s time for you to give sleigh rides to all the other children. I think Mary said dinner will be in three quarters of an hour.”

“All right. I’ll get ready for sleigh duty.” He squeezed her hand then strode out of the room. He donned his overcoat and hat, and watched with a deep sense of contentment while all the children put on their coats, pelisses, hats, and gloves. They filed past him in a chatter of excitement, deciding who would go first in the sleigh and who would throw snowballs while they waited their turn. Before he followed, Charlotte came up to him and whispered in his ear, “I have a surprise for you when we return home tonight.”

“Do tell, Admiral Heywood.”

“Later. Now off you go.”

He shook his head, laughing as she turned on her heel to help supervise preparations for the meal and more merriment. “Always with the surprises,” he called out.

“I know,” she called back.

“Papa,” William said from outside, “they’re waiting for you.”

“Coming, William.” Sidney closed the door behind him. Georgiana and Otis were already sitting in the back with John and Amelia on their laps, while Henry had taken the seat next to his own up front. Sidney leaned over the side of the sleigh to kiss John’s and Amelia’s heads. “I’m glad you could join us today,” he said, looking at Georgiana and Otis. “I know you’ve been very busy setting up your new London house.”

“We wouldn’t miss this tradition for the world,” said Georgiana, “and now you have started a new one with this sleigh. It will be expected for all the winters to come, you know, as long as it snows.”

“And if it doesn’t snow,” said Otis, “the children will always expect rides, regardless. You’ll have to paint and decorate your coach to replace it,” he added with a laugh.

Sidney’s eyes widened and he chuckled. “I hadn’t thought of that. I guess I’ll have to commission a bright red coach, just in case. I told Charlotte that I want to start new traditions and memories every Christmas, for all of us and our children, so they may pass them on if they choose.” He climbed in the front seat next to Henry as the rest of the children played in the snow, supervised by Jenny and Alicia, who were now old enough to watch the younger ones. “Are you ready, John and Amelia?” John nodded with eagerness, but two-year-old Amelia hid her head against Otis’s shoulder. “Off we go.”

Sidney set the horses at a trot, took his passengers all around Sanditon, and then returned to Trafalgar House for Jenny, Alicia, and James. Georgiana and Otis supervised the snow games while they were gone. Once the rides were finished, they all bundled into the warmth of the house, everyone removing their outerwear and handing it off to the footman. The air was scented with the cinnamon of mulled wine and the spices of rich food.

Tom marched down the hallway. “The feast is ready. Please come this way.”

The children walked with decorum as they had been taught, but Sidney knew all too well their youthful eagerness and their wish to hurry to partake of the delights Mary had planned for them.

The table was decorated with holiday greens picked on Christmas Eve, and the china gleamed in the warm amber candlelight. Mary directed everyone toward their chairs and gave permission to sit, and soon the food was being served. The table came alive with chatter.

Sidney had been seated across from Charlotte, and he shot her an enquiring look, teasing her, knowing she would recognize he wanted to know the surprise. She shook her head with a bright smile and proceeded to talk to Otis, who sat beside her, about his and Georgiana’s new London house.

Relenting, Sidney ate and chatted with his niece, Alicia, on one side of him, and Alison on the other. By the time the dessert course came around an hour later, Sidney was too full to eat mincemeat pie and sweetmeats. The children exclaimed with delight, however, when given their servings of pie and allowed their choice of candy. He had to stop Alison from reaching for too many sweetmeats, and ruffled her hair to comfort her. Charlotte flashed him a warm smile. He reveled in the fact that he had been able to make his beautiful Admiral happy all these years, and hoped to continue making her happy for all the years to come.

Soon, the meal wound down, children asked to be excused and adults followed them down the hall into the parlor. Sidney watched his three children settle on a couch and they all began to nod off. He gestured to Charlotte. “It looks like it’s time to return home. We have a busy day tomorrow with the Babingtons and their children, Diana and her family, and Arthur arriving from London for skating on the pond. I’ll have the horses and sleigh pulled from the stable.”

“I’ll help the children get ready.”

By the time he brought the sleigh around, he saw Charlotte standing in the window, watching for him. He went back inside, hugged Georgiana, Otis, Tom and Mary good-bye, and all the children who were not falling asleep on the couches. With Charlotte, he bundled Caroline, William and Alison into the sleigh, covered them with the blankets and took off into the crisp, bright, moonlit air. The sleigh cut smoothly through freshly fallen snow, back through the streets, back up the gentle hill away from the town and up to their own house on its hilltop.

“Alison is asleep,” Charlotte said.

“I’ll carry her in,” said Sidney, giving the sleigh over to the groom who had come out of their stables to meet them.

Picking Alison up, so small in his arms, he carried her into the foyer, through the hall and up the stairs to her room. He heard Charlotte behind him, helping William and Caroline give their coats to Neville. He laid Alison down on her bed. The nanny came from her room and went to attend Alison. Sidney helped Charlotte take William and Caroline to their rooms, and after attendance by the nanny they went from room to room to tuck in each child.

Once done tucking the children in and blowing out the candles, Sidney took Charlotte’s hand. “That was a brilliant day.”

“It certainly was.”

“And I suppose it will be more brilliant once I know your surprise.”

They walked to the end of the long hall to their room. Charlotte told her maid she wouldn’t need her tonight, and they were alone at last in their room. Moonlight shone on the blue damask coverlet and mahogany bedstead.

“Well,” Sidney said as he removed his overcoat and tailcoat to lay them on a chair by the hearth, where a warm fire had been stoked by the maid. He sat at the end of the bed. “What’s my surprise?”

Charlotte went to her dressing table, opened a drawer and drew something out. She came to sit next to him. The object in her hand was a slim book, bound by hand, the front cover decorated with ornate hand-drawn scrollwork surrounding two words. She handed it to him. The calligraphy words said ‘Baby Book’.

He took it, swallowing. “Are you serious? A new baby book?”

“Yes,” she said. “We’re having a fourth child.” She had made a book to mark each time she told him about Caroline, then William, then Alison, doing the calligraphy and hand-drawing herself.

He put the book down and drew her into his arms. “I told you we make every Christmas better,” he murmured. “How long?”

“Seven months or so, I believe.”

“Seven months to create a new nursery. I’m glad we have another book room we can convert. We’ll have a summer baby.”

“All of our children are summer babies,” said Charlotte.

“It’s all the cold winter nights,” Sidney said, nuzzling her cheek.

“I think that’s a valid theory,” she said, lying down on the bed and pulling him along with her to lie on his side facing her. She initiated a long, languorous kiss.

When they parted, Sidney stroked her cheek. “Are you having your way with me again, Admiral Heywood.”

“Tell me truthfully, Mr. Parker, does it bother you that it’s so very easy for me to have my way with you?” Her eyes sparked with mischief and she untied and unwound his neckcloth with deft fingers.

“Not in the least. Never.” He helped her glide off his neckcloth and watched as she slowly undid every button on his waistcoat. She flung both garments away to rest on the floor.

“My valet won’t like that very much.”

“We pay him well,” Charlotte said with a shrug. “Your turn, Mr. Parker.”

Biting his lip, laughing under his breath, enjoying her game, he slid his hand under her sleeve at her shoulder and pulled it down slowly, starting at her shoulder with small kisses, working his way down to her decolletage. Her breath hitched in just the way he liked, so he lingered there a while before making his way over to her other shoulder, slow and sure. He pulled the other sleeve down and gave that shoulder the same attentive treatment.

“Taking it slow tonight?” Charlotte said, her face flushed.

“I feel I should be careful given your condition,” he said with a mock serious expression. “Don’t you?”

“You better not be too careful, Mr. Parker. I’m not made of glass, as you very well know from the other times I was with child.”

“Aye Aye, Admiral Heywood. Not too careful, then.” He swept his shirt over his head and threw it to the floor to rest on his neckcloth and waistcoat.

Charlotte laughed in delight. “That’s more like it.”

The End

**Author's Note:**

> Notes: I did research regarding weather patterns on the Sussex coast during the Regency era and after to make sure it actually snowed there. There were very cold patterns that brought snow during various years in December and January during this time in history, so I gave myself a little bit of creative license regarding the snow and year. I also gave myself creative license regarding sleighs being in England then, because it seems that sleighs were used more on the continent. As a well-off entrepreneur I imagine that Sidney, with Charlotte’s help, has become very successful and would be able to commission the making of a sleigh with all the trappings.


End file.
